writing ｜ 如何写好一篇学术论文（二）加强句子语气，以及一些语法tips
1. 尽量避免passive voice: 被动语气, be direct!
e.g.
原句：The activation of calcium channels is induced by the depletion of endoplasmic reticulum calcium stores
改为：The depletion of those calcium stores induces the activation of calcium channels.
进阶：Depleting calcium from the end of plasma reticulum activates calcium channels
原句：Additionally, it was found that pre-treatment with antibiotics increased the number of super-shedders, while immunosuppression did not
进阶：Pre-treating the mice with antibiotics increased the number of super-shedders while immunosuppression did not
放弃we found，更关注后面的重点，be direct!
原句：A strong correlation was found between use of the passive voice and other sins of writing.
进阶：Use of the passive voice strongly correlated with other sins of writing
2. active voice:
强调作者的责任；增加可读性；减少模棱两可的话
3. 在方法描述段落里，用被动语气是合适的，因为此时的重点是做的东西，而不是谁做了什么
4. even though 优于 in spite of the fact that
5. 可以用 we/I
6. 用更强烈的动词，动词使得句子更生动：
e.g.
原句：Loud music came from speakers embedded in the walls, and the entire arena moved as the hungry crowd got to its feet.
进阶：Loud music exploded from speakers embedded in the walls, and the entire arena shook as the hungry crowd leaped to its feet.
7. 避免用副词，用更合适的动词
原句：The WHO reports that approximately two-thirds of the world's diabetics are found in developing countries, and estimates that the number of diabetics in these countries will double in the next 25 year.
进阶：The WHO estimates that two-thirds of the world's diabetics are found in developing countries, and projects that the number of diabetics in these countries will double in the next 25 year.
8. 避免用to be，it‘s boring
9. 不要把动词变成名词
obtain extimates of -> estimate (前面的动词是一个weak动词，换为strong动词)
has seen an expansion of -> has expanded
provides a methodologic emphasis -> emphasizes methodology
take an assessment of -> assess
10. 不要把最重要的动词藏起来
e.g.
原句：one study of 930 adults with multiple sclerosis (MS) receiving care and one of two managed care settings or in a fee-for-service setting found that only two-thirds of those needing to contact a neurologist for an MS-related problem in the prior 6 months had done so.
进阶：one study found that, of 930 adults with multiple sclerosis (MS) receiving care and one of two managed care settings or in a fee-for-service setting found that only two-thirds of those needing to contact a neurologist for an MS-related problem in the prior 6 months had done so.
11. 不要用模糊不清的词
e.g. important：什么是important，如何判断important，别的study就不important了吗
worthwhile，appreciable
12. 一些语法问题
1. the data are/show... 注意data用在论文里默认为复数！
2. affect: verb，影响
当为名词的时候，指面部表情或者肢体语言
effect: noun，影响
当为动词时，指bring about / cause，带来
3. compared to: 不相似的情况下，为了找到二者的相似之处
compared with: 一般用这个，在相似的情况下，为了找到二者的不相似之处
4. that：restrictive, defining
e.g. The vial that contained her RNA was lost. 可能有多个vial，只是有RNA的vial丢了，这个vial是特殊的
which: nonrestrictive, non-defining, 通常跟着逗号
e.g. The vial, which contained her RNA, was lost. 只有一个vial，这个vial包含了RNA，即使删掉which那部分也没关系
要判断是否是必要的信息，是否可以删除？不可以--用that，可以--用which
6. 当你的主语是单数时，用代词不要用they / their
e.g. Each(All) student worries about their grade.
Orig: A recommendation was made by the DSMB committee that the study be halted.
My: the DSMB committee recommended halt the study.
Ans: the DSMB committee recommended that the study be halted.
Orig: Major differences in the reaction times of the two study subjects were found.
My: We found Major differences in the reaction times of the two study subjects.
Ans: the two study subjects differed in the reaction times
Orig: It was concluded by the editors that the data had been falsified by the authors.
My & Ans: the editors concluded that the authors falsified the data
Orig: The first visible-light snapshot of a planet circling another star has been taken by NASA’s Hubble Space Telescope.
My & Ans: NASA’s Hubble Space Telescope has taken the first visible-light snapshot of a planet circling another star.
Orig: Therefore, the hypothesis that the overall kinetics of a double transtibial amputee athlete and an able-bodied sprinter at the same level of performance are not different was rejected.
My: Therefore, we rejected the hypothesis that the overall kinetics of a double transtibial amputee athlete and an able-bodied sprinter at the same level of performance are not different
Ans: Therefore, we rejected the hypothesis that the overall kinetics of a double transtibial amputee athlete and an able-bodied sprinter at the same level of performance are comparable
Orig：The fear(换成动词)expressed by some teachers that students would not（直接用否定的词）learn statistics well if they were permitted to use canned computer programshas not（直接用否定的词）been realized（main verb）in our experience. A carefulmonitoring（换成动词）of achievement levels before and after the introduction of computers in the teaching of our course revealed（main verb） no appreciable（模糊不清的词，表达歧义）change in students’ performances.
改为：Many teachers feared that the use of canned computer programs would prevent students from learning statistics. We monitored student achievement levels before and after the introduction of computers in our course and found no detriments in performance.
Orig：Review（换成动词）of each center’s progress in recruitment is（weak verb）important（模糊，换更具体的）to ensure that the cost involved in maintaining（沉闷）each center’s participation is（weak verb）worthwhile（模糊，换更具体的）.
改为：We should review each center's recruitment progress to make sure its continued participation is cost effective.
Orig：It should be emphasized that(dead weight,直接删掉) these proportions（模糊含义，要指出上文用的哪个proportion，换成shifting proportions） generally（dead weight,试一下去掉有影响吗） are not（换成肯定语气） the result of （换成due to）significant increases in moderate and severe injuries, but in many instances（换成often） reflect mildly injured persons not（换成肯定语气） being seen（to be句式，不好，换掉） at a hospital.
Mine：Ignoring many instances reflect mildly injured persons at a hospital increases significantly these proportions, not because of moderate and severe injuries.
Ans：Shifting proportions in injury severity may reflect stricter hospital admission criteria rather than true increases in moderate and severe injuries.
Orig：Important（模糊不清的词） studies to examine the descriptive（合并为describe，verb） epidemiology of autism, including the prevalence and changes in the characteristics of the population（vague，模糊，直接去掉） over time（和change重复，change本身就要over time）, have begun(main verb,太远了).
Mine：We have begun important studies to examine the descriptive epidemiology of autism, including the prevalence and changes in the characteristics of the population over time
Ans：Studies have begun to describe the epidemiology of autism, including recent changes in the disorder's prevalence and characteristics.
Orig：There are(删掉) multiple other mechanisms that are（to be，换成play a role） important（删掉） but most of them are suspected to（多余） only have a small impact（和前面play a role结合起来） or are only important（删掉） because of（删掉） impact on one of the three primary mechanisms.
Ans：Multiple other mechanisms play only a small role or work by impacting one of the three primary mechanisms.
Orig：After(删掉) rejecting paths with poor signal-to-noise ratios, We were(删掉) left with(删掉) 678 velocity measurements of waves with 7.5 second（放到前面，直接形容词） periods and 891 measurements of 15 second waves（重复）.
Ans：Rejecting paths with poor signal to noise ratios left 678 velocity measurements of 7.5 second waves and 891 of 15 second waves.
Orig：It is suspected that(闪烁其词，换为likely/may) the importance of temperature has more to do with impacting rates of other reactions than being a mechanism of disinfection itself since ponds（直接上解释，作为句首） are rarely hot enough for temperature alone to cause disinfection.
Mine：Temperature plays a more important role on impacting rates of other reactions than being a mechanism of disinfection itself since ponds are rarely hot enough to cause disinfection.
Ans：Ponds are rarely hot enough for temperature alone to cause disinfection; thus, the effect of temperature is likely mediated through its impact on the rates of other reactions.
Orig：It was assumed that(令人困惑，换成we conclude) due to reduced(换成动词) work at the joints of the lower limbs and less energy loss in the prosthetic leg(main noun), running with the dedicated prostheses allows for maximum sprinting at lower metabolic costs than in the healthy ankle joint complex.
Ans：The prosthetic leg reduces work and energy loss compared with a healthy ankle joint, which may lead to lower metabolic costs during maximum sprinting.
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